Cassandra Love

What?
No Work Out Wednesday?!
Nope.

Partly because yesterday I did 10X10 Back squats @ 50%.
And then the Matterers and I did 112 squats during Cassandra's episode.

(Also - 100,000 visitors to We Matter?!  Some special giveaways coming up!)



Then an AMRAP this morning.
We'll be back at it next week.
Reminder: Next Tuesday is the Extreme Weight Loss Season Finale :).
SO FUN!
Now.
On to Cassandra.
And Everything I LOVE about that woman!
Besides being:
Funny.
Loving.
Beautiful.
Caring.
Kind
Gorgeous.
An amazing photographer.
Compassionate.
Best Laugh.
And
A Friend.

She's also one of my pushers.
We were in AZ.
In September.
I think.
Honestly, I was only there twice.
And I can't for the life of me remember when this was.
But.
Here we go.
She snapped these photos.
As we walked, we chatted about a lot of things.

Because we think the same.
We're both in education.
We put everyone else first.
And believed in ourselves last.





I look at these photos and think I thought I looked fine.
And now I think I look huge.

Ah.  Life.

Anyways, toward the end of this two hour cardio sesh, Cassandra and I were walking by some city windows in Downtown Phoenix.

And I caught a glimpse of myself.
And I shuddered and walked faster.

"What just happened?"  Cassandra asked.
And she stopped walking.

"Caught a glimpse of myself in that window.  And I couldn't handle the ugly."

"Oh no, no no, no, we are not going to keep walking with you thinking that.  
Come back here and take a good look."

"I can't."

"You can, I can too, let's do this together.
Look at yourself.
And see the strong Jami.
The beautiful Jami."

I walked back appeased her and said the things she wanted me to say.
But I knew then, I didn't feel those yet.
And I said that.

That I'm a work in a progress.
And as much as I want to desperately stop feeling those things.
That right now, I'm working on not beating myself up about feeling those things.
Which is just as bad.

My little inside self is so scared of those feelings, and my adult self shouting at her that she should get over it and believe in herself is just making my inside self feel stupider.
And uglier.

So accepting that I feel that way, is part of allowing room for healing.
I remember Cassandra apologized for making me go back to the window.

And I laughed.
Because she never EVER had to apologize to me.
We all have work to do.
And each friend on this amazing journey is MEANT to push me in different ways.
It's all a part of the plan.

To be fair.
I trust Cassandra implicitly.
She is kind.
And has everyones very best interest at heart.

So cooking with her.
Walking with her.
Sharing this year on Extreme with her.

Has been inspirational.

Blessed by you.
Blessed to know you.
Can't wait to see where your adventures take you!

Comments

  1. So beautiful!! Both you ladies! Congrats on your amazing journeys and everything you have accomplish!! :))

    ReplyDelete
  2. Still feeling those squats! LOVE your pics from AZ girl! And the new ones of Cassandra made me gasp and smile. Works in progress. That's us. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?!
      So good
      Then I did pistols the next day.
      Legs.
      None functioning.
      Still moving.
      Truth.

      Delete
  3. Cassandra is a good friend of many years. I could not agree more with you more
    about her kind and loving personality. She shines wherever she goes and always has. Now she has all this wonderful confidence too. So glad you got to know how special she truly is. Both of you look fabulous. It shows in your smiles even more than in your fit bodies! Keep up the good work : ) Colleen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting, Colleen!
      She is so gorgeous.
      Inside and out.
      It was so cool to see her figure it out!
      YOU ROCK!
      Jami

      Delete

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