Push. Don't Push.

I have some of the most amazing friends.
In the entire Universe.

And I will argue that.
Till I die.

In fact.
In my darkest times.

Even when none of my friends knew or know that they are my darkest times.
They've kept me afloat.

They've checked in.
Dialed me up.

Brought me back.
And some of the best of these come from my Epic Church family, my Life Group.

Last weekend, we all got together to celebrate Jess and Jason's Wedding just outside of Boston.
(Such a fun wedding!)
And even more amazing coupling and example of God's love and plan for us all.

EVD, Sarah, and I came together to party the night away.
And we did.

That's not all.

We also grew.
And pushed.
And lifted.
(That was for Brown.)

And it got me thinking.
About one of the greatest things about these friends, and a lot of my friends.

They are pushers.
In the best sense of the word.

They aren't settlers.
Or placaters.

They're real.
They really push.
And they really love.

I was sitting on the stone wall outside the reception venue (after we had all been overwhelmed by the cocktail hour and Sarah needed wine).

And in the middle of chatting up some of the single guys, EVD asks, in a way only she can, "Is everything REALLY okay?"

The dreaded, "How are you doing?" question.

Which scared me last year.
Because my facade would immediately come up.
And I'd force myself to make eye contact so that friends would believe me.
And I'd say, "Fine," or "FABULOUS!"

On Saturday, I responded that things were better.
And then I gave my inside self time to really think about what she wanted to say.
And the little inside self that is so afraid that people are always judging her as ugly, and huge, and unwanted said, "No, really, things are so much better."

Because they are.
I am.

Without EVD being willing to push.
I wouldn't have to ask my little inside self until therapy time.
Or when I'm on my own.

And asking myself to be honest and vulnerable in front of my friends isn't easy.
But it's worth it.

So mentally, emotionally, worth it.
Later that night.

We pushed SB.
Because we love her.
Because we can.
Because we believe in her.

And it's hard.
To be your most real self amongst your friends.
But it's the kind of hard work that pays off.
That makes you better.
And stronger.
And your friendship fiercer.
And more beautiful.

When I started writing about push, don't push, it reminded me of being on a swing.
When you are little.
And you'd ask someone to push you for a while.
And eventually, you'd say, Don't Push.
But that's because you could pump on your own.

Great friends do that with you.
They push you when you need it.
And they don't when you can do it for yourself.

I'm fortunate to have these friends.
What about you?
What makes your friendships work?

(And EVD and SB.  Or Selfie and CD.  I love you guys, a lot.)
(And if you want more of this trio - Check out Saturday's VLOG :)  We had fun talking about Motivation!)

I have so much to say, and we can get a work out in too!


  1. It's awesome to have those 'pushers' in our lives. We definitely need them. So many many times I did the "I'm great" Many would let me get away with that. There was one person who didn't accept it and literally saved my life and sent me to the hospital.


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