Humbled.

This post has two things to be humbled about.



First and probably least interesting to my non cast member friends.
I am forever humbled every time I step on stage.
Awkwardly.
Uncomfortably.
And as the running record in my mind plays, "Ugly and untalentedly."
Read:
Nothing and no good.

And as I struggle.
Or forget my lines.
Or just suck.
Because some days.

I do.

Some nights mostly.

I know it's not easy.
To listen.
As you do.
To the constant running record.
That plays in my mind.
That I am really nothing and no good.
And I know.

I mean, I really know.
How annoying it has to be to hear it.
Because I know, even my own thoughts annoy me a lot.

And yet.
You do that.
Both my dads.
And my mom.
And my constables.
And my bishop.
And my Marius.

And for that matter.
Everyone.

And I am extremely humbled by each interaction.
And by humbled.
I mean. HUM.  BLED.
Last night, while floating home in a cloud of you suck.
And they should just replace me's.

I heard the, "They're not replacing yous."
And the, "You don't sucks."
And the, "We all have bad nights."
And the, "You're here for a reasons."

And I fell asleep, to the sound of the "Nothing and no good."
A little quieter than it had been earlier that night.

(Was that a long drawn out thank you?
Why, yes, yes it was.)

And I especially want to thank my littlest brother.
Who hopefully doesn't read blogs by Extreme Weight Loss cast members :)
And just goes about the important business of being 10 and half.

But.
My little Gavroche.
You might never know, what a kind thing it is to tell someone triple your age, you think they rock.
You, little dude, you rock.

And second.
For the reception of the B.I.G. group.
I am so very humbled.
It was HUGE.
And I wish we could take all of you in the first group.

We can not.
46 people is too many for one google hang out. :)
So, a lottery will be put into place this afternoon and folks in this first round will be notified.

Folks not in the first group will also be notified.
And will have first dibs on the next group :).

I simply can not wait.

And for those of you here who want to see Les Mis.
With an Eponine.
Who promises to get her act together.
Before opening night.

You can once again check out EXIT 7 Players: exit7players.org
And get tickets.

Because watching me be carried off stage dead, may in fact, be totally gratifying :).




1 comments:

  1. It breaks my heart to see you feeling this way about yourself. You are such an inspiration to so many people, Jami. Look at how far you've come! :)

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