I promise.

I promise, not all I have to talk about is theater based.
But in this, the season of Les Miserables.
It's on the brain.

As we rehearse.
And I struggle.
With accepting that this is happening.
And that dang epilogue harmony.
And self-acceptance.
(I mean, we go up in 2 days and I still think most of the cast thinks I'm miscast.  Which is just my own very crazy think because no one has ever said that.)

Crazy Thinks.

This post is about promises in another way.
Promises we make to ourselves.

I can't remember how many times I promised myself I'd start tomorrow.
Or lose 20 pounds in one month.
Or run more.
Or eat less.
Or drink more water.
Or not give up.
Or this time would be different.

And then it wasn't.
Or I didn't.

And as I learned what smart goals were.
And tried to make reasonable commitments to myself.
It got easier.
Mostly because they weren't huge commitments.
Even now.
I haven't made it Crossfit all week.
But I kept moving.
I may have done an 18 mile run.
On accident.
(Read: Running from my inadequacy - 'cause you can totally do that, right?)

A year ago.
I said something out-loud.
On video.
For Extreme Casting.
And over the year.
I promised myself.
I'd make that commitment.
That I said out-loud on video.
Come to fruition.
Come heck or high water.

And while I didn't make my 90 day milestone challenge (on purpose) and never made it to NYC to see a broadway show or dance with my favorite broadway star.
I did keep this promise to myself.

And to go back now, in the middle of the tech week and listen to something like this.
Keeps me motivated.
And sure that I will learn On My Own.
And stop saying Changes in the weirdest way possible.
No seriously, I annoy MYSELF with that.
And that dang epilogue

^ That girl.
Is standing beside Jean Valjean and Javert.
And actually has a waist.
Not a "Hey I'm Samantha Barks" Waist.
But a waist.
Light coming through both sides.


  1. I love you.... that is all!~ :) Yea right, I always have a lot to say. I'm Soooooooo grateful that you were cast in this show and have become a friend of mine. You have gotten me to take huge steps to a better life and a better me. Day by Day and making the right choices is all I can do and you've shown that to me. I think your amazing as Eponine and Samantha Barks is your Doppelganger so I think WE did good. Im wicked stoked to watch you light up the stage on Friday night. Its obvious "some" people don't know that you just turn it up on opening night, lol! Well enjoy Happy Baby and some more Sofia the First and remember your fan club is always rooting for you. Im a new member so I should know!!!! :)

    1. The best.
      You are the best.
      Thank you for carrying me off stage every night.
      And grabbing my hat.
      And your kindness.
      Quick wit.
      And sharing a love of all things Disney Junior.

  2. Michael is right; you shine up there on that stage. You ARE Eponine! Everyone is going to love you...and the show...and the entire cast. It truely is a little family and we're very happy you are a part of it.

    1. I'm blessed.
      Every minutes.
      By every single member of our cast.
      Bottom line.
      We are all, right where we always needed to be.


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