Love What You Do

Can I be honest?
Bahahahahahaha.
Did that make you laugh, as much as it did me?



When am I not?
Oversharer?
Mmmkay.
Truth be told, I've gotten really good at honest.
With you.
With me.
With Everybody.

::Come and Join the Chorus, the Mighty Might Chorus::

SHOUT OUT SISTER ACT 2.

I'm applying to graduate programs.
Ph.D programs.
Ed.D programs.
And one Masters program that I've already been accepted to.
It's a lovely little school in DC. :)

Anyways.
I always knew I'd get my Doctorate.
Teaching college.
It's what I've always wanted to do.
And research.
Man.
I love it.
All of it.
In fact, if I could just be an ethnographer.
And Professer.
And call it a day.
Chill.

But before.
Or if.
I accept an offer to graduate school.

I'm teaching 3rd grade.
In a little town in Massachusetts.

And boy howdy.
I have never ever never been so happy.
In all my life.

Ever.
Not on a plane to Chile.
Not when CP arrived in a Green Leo.
Not when I first talked to my mom.
Or even when I was an assistant director at UMASS Admissions.

And I think.
What I'm learning.
Is it really is.
That simple.
You love what you do with all your heart.

For me.
I love my kids.
Something ferocious.
And while being a mom, isn't something I've ever thought would be my life plan.
Being these guys teacher, is the BEEEEEES KNEEES.

Working at this school, with these people, and some great friends, with these students.
It's like, magic.

Just perfection and magic.
And every student that tells me I make coming to school so much fun.
Or every student that comes to school soooo sick, because missing a day would be brutal.
Man.
I'm telling you.
Find something you love and do it.
With all you heart.

And if it can be something that you also give to others.
Well, that satisfies the people pleaser in me.

If you're somewhere where you feel stuck.
Or unhappy.
MOVE.
And yes, it's actually that easy.
If you work somewhere that is slowly killing the most special parts of your soul.
LEAVE.
Start over.

I gave myself permission to.
And it brought me here.
And yes, I worked for some crazies before.
And yes, I left some not so great places and didn't work for awhile.
But.

In the end.
I walk into a school.
No, a family.
I look forward to seeing every day.

I'm off to Los Angeles in a few weeks for vacation and while I'm excited to see GreggBestFriend.
And the Beach.
And the warmth.
I'm gonna miss my littles, a lot.

What do you do, that you love?

Now.

That being said.
I'm still struggling.
That's real right?
I put my size 6 pants on one leg at a time folks, and yet most mornings, I look in the bathroom mirror or at the bottom of the porcelain throne and see the ugliest, fattest, most horrible person in the world.

That's real life.

I do accept, as my therapist said, that I get to be a work in progress.
I get to be messy.
And hard on myself.

Just the other day, I was talking to a fellow teacher in front of my students and lamenting my gigantic thighs.

And she, one of my nearest and dearest turned to her student, the sweetest little girl and said, "Don't listen to her, she's crazy and doesn't know what she's talking about."

And it reminded me.
That even though those painful, ugly thoughts filter in and out of my day.
There are more people every day that not only don't believe them, but are willing to battle them with me.




Comments

  1. I pray that I find some good people who will (like your friends) battle my demons with me. It's getting hard on my own. :-( You're awesome Jami. Thanks for your blogs and your honesty. It gives me hope that I can be strong like you one day.

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  2. Wow. Chills. Thank you, thank you for this. I'm so afraid to take the next step with my life. I'm putting security over happiness and it has to stop. It really is that simple. "Move".

    I swear we could be friends! Love your posts. Keep them up please!

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  3. Loved this for two reasons, I kind of stopped working out and eating right and really just need to get back to it and enjoy doing it again. The second reason is I really do need to move on from where I work now and find something I enjoy. I would love a place that I love to go to every day and work with people I want to see every day. Love your blog, love your personality and your honesty :)

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