Post Camp.

Hahaha.

Not another camp post.
Promise.
Post camp though - has been a whirlwind. I landed early Morning and started back to the Boston Ballet SDP.
For my 10th Summer

2nd as ARD.



Let's be vulnerable: I sometimes think...okay...know...I suck at being an ARD.

Do you ya'll have those moments at work?
At life?

When I was an RC - a residential counselor - I never questioned my abilities.
Because.
The feedback from my littles has been great.
They love me.
I love them. :)

Being an ARD means less littles and more taking care of our incredible staff.
And ya'll.
That scares me.
I'm not sure I'd love and respect me on the other side of the table.

But - in the spirit of giving my self room to grow.
To try again.
To not suck today.
 I get up and try everyday.
And most days - so far - I don't think I suck too much.

Sometimes little self whispers, "I was better when we just took care of the littles."
And I tell her - that's just the little kid self who likes things we know.
Feels safe in the we know.

ARD-ing alongside the most amazing RD to ever live in the history of mankindlife helps - a lot.
It sure helps little self to know we have a leader.
And let's face it - reslife is where I belong.

 ...

Did I just say that?
For real?
I mean.
Who really knows where they belong?
But it is/has been the one place to shelter and protect me since I was 17.
And it continues to be that source for me, even when I feel like I'm sucking it up all over the place.

Some craftiness from school seeps in which makes this job fun.
A while back I made the ABC's of Boston.
A 26 long list of things to do in the city.

Today, some girls sat outside our offices and took pictures of each letter to make a bucket list for summer.
I think they were trying to fit in everything tomorrow :)
LOL.
Kids.
But it reminded me.
Warmed me.
Held me in the we're all just trying out best.
Sometimes we get it right.
Sometimes we don't.
Give yourself that space to grow.
To suck it up sometimes.
And get better tomorrows.
And try agains.

You matter.

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